November 6, 2008--rant on rain and life

it is raining and I am certain we slowly slip into winter...damn! I hate winter in Vancouver, I begin to miss Revelstoke, Sicamous, Nelson, even Prince George!!! all the more as the rain falls because i love the crisp morning snow in the mountains or up north and I despise this gray snot that falls from the sky for months.
and I am making soup...mmm chicken soup from scratch...for my soul because it rains
aside from the rain
there is good news down south (a new President may equal the change he promised)...I only wish we can find someone as charismatic and intelligent who can someday lead our own youth vote out to the polls.
yesterday I voted for the Vancouver municipal election--I am in Ottawa on election day.
ah yes and planning for Ottawa--last conference as BC NEADS rep. i will miss much of the committee and board people i have worked with over the past two years. I look forward to hanging out with many of them from the 13th to the 17th!
also yesterday, some headway was made in the matter of my older son. i had a meeting with a school that might take him on. they seem capable enough, i just worry that because it is a class of 10 very challenging kids, that he will be ignited by their behaviour and find himself in further trouble. I also worry that because the entire class is focused on managing "bad" behaviour that he will lose out on the academics and get bored and misbehave...
i miss having family terribly these days. there is nothing like family challenges to turn ones heart backwards and wish for the support that a family might offer. the advice, the home, the hands of help...i am tired of living on guard every day and waiting for the next bomb to drop.
all i can think about it the family in Ontario whose son was found, dead, yesterday...that boy ran away for many similar reasons as my son did on the same day (thanksgiving). my son was found, albeit he followed a couple strangers home from the park (thank the gods and angels these people called the police and did not harm my son)...but I am all too aware each time he decides to run that he may not be found by the police, the dogs, the helicopter, friends. it keeps me awake at night.
and i am drowing in paperwork these days...student loan repayment relief, childcare subsidy applications...all complicated because now i am "self employed" as a researcher/project coordinator...I have to see an accountant to sort out how to even fill these papers out. I just wish i could go on regular payroll. it would make my life so much easier...
i am tired, i am weary...i need my soup to be ready...